Common Household Knife Makes Name Change

A common household knife recently changed its name amid fears that it just couldn't "cut it" anymore. We spent time with the knife these last couple of days, examining the local "knife life" in hopes of understanding just a small "slice" of its reality.

Competition for "cut time" is mega-fierce in the kitchen. Knives desperately work to "sharpen" their "edge" in a constant effort to stay as far away from the "cutting room floor" as possible.

So, what was the name change, you ask? Knife pointed out to us much of the superior-sounding knife nomenclature that surrounds it in the kitchen; names like: "paring knife", "chef's knife", "fruit knife"; and even a few speciality cutters like "Santoku knife" or "Sushimi knife".

"It was a real clear cut challenge to come up with a suitable moniker, but I really needed something that would put me a cut above the rest," said the knife, "And that's why I eventually settled on 'Mack the Knife'".

Mack the Knife insists that other knives use its full name. During our interview, various knives were hastily corrected for casual salutations like "Hey Mack!", or "Yo, The Knife, How you been?"

Apparently Mack the Knife's plan has been working "like a hot knife through butter". He's seen up to sixty-percent more nut chopping this week, along with peeling two large Irish potatoes, poking out five sets of fish eyes, and even stirring the master chef's morning coffee for an unforgettable two or three flicks of the wrist!

We certainly wish Mack the Knife luck in the ever-rigorous "cut scene". A knife lived in the drawer is a knife half lived, as they say!