A local shower curtain in a 4 bedroom split level family home supposedly "sees it all, on the daily". The visually unpretentious mono-colored shower drape hangs quite dutifully by its stainless hooks, day after day; executing its intended water-isolating capacity.
Washroom occupants would scarcely imagine the turmoil of tawdry thoughts and passions that continually rage within the inanimate drape. Good taste requires that we omit much of our conversation with the lewd curtain, who proudly vaunted its delinquent activities without reserve:
"...I've seen packages and goodies of all shapes and sizes, man. I've seen frontal goodies, and totally soaking back goodies, and big goodies, and petite goodies; waxed goodies and voluptuous goodies. It's like, damn! Every day for me, man. Every day."
One of our news crewmen was more than a little upset when he discovered the curtain's truly seedy intentions. Said newsman exposed his "full frontal goodies" in a routine lizard draining not 10 minutes before the interview started. "I'd have found a decent bush out back if I'd known," he timidly admitted.
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