Mike Malveston, of Butte, Montanta crossed accepted social boundaries and comfortableness limits when he apparently exceeded the commonly understood "douche" quota last Tuesday afternoon around 3:34 PM, according to Jonas Peters, fellow Napa Auto Parts Front Desk Customer Satisfaction Associate and occasional lunch break compadre.
"He was exploring variants on the word all day long", remarked Peters. "It started in the morning when a disgruntled customer left the store. As soon as the door shut, Mike muttered 'douche nuts' under his breath. I laughed a little bit. Big mistake." Assoc. Malveston took Peters' reaction as a sign of approval, and from there began to perform like a giddy toddler in a room full of applauding adults.
Peters took an early lunch break as by 11:30 AM himself and the rest of the Napa Auto Parts staff had already heard "douche", "d-bag", "d-baggery", "d-baguettes", "douch-tastic", "douche Limbaugh", "douche Coupe", "Much a-douche about nothing", and a tandem ensemble of "What can I douche for you/douche me a favor" all creatively worked into otherwise passable sentences.
"I wouldn't put up with it..." said Peters with a hint of animosity in his voice "...I mean, I really just wouldn't put up with it if Mike weren't Regional Customer Satisfaction Associate Team Leader."
Peters notes that Malveston has crossed the line before with other socially metered words such as "Penis-Wrinkle", "Queer-Bait", "Hoe-Bag", and a three day bout with excessive Snoop Dog "for shizzle" talk. Peters also candidly told our newsman that if this happens one or maybe a few times more, he'll likely write an email to the Employee Affairs committee, or just wait until his Junior year of high school commences in September (since for Peters, this is only summertime employment).
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